What's the deal with Tzniut obsession!?!

Ever since plugging into the J-blogosphere a few months ago, I've noticed a number of recurring themes.  One of which is the issue/problem/matter of modesty or tzniut. 

(I'm an Ashkenaz Jew, but for some reason, turning the tav into a sav has always annoyed me.  Perhaps it's because from the start I learned Hebrew from Israelis, using the modern Israeli pronunciation.  Always said prayers with the tav as well.  Maybe it's a cultural thing -- it seems like orthodox communities say it sav.  So while the blogs I'm reading spell it tznius, I'm sticking with tzniut.  My blog, my rules.)
See, for example, this thoughtful post from a couple of weeks ago over at Honestly Frum.

Sometimes I feel gratitude to the orthodox for maintaining a set of practices and a lifestyle that would otherwise be lost.  Other times, like when it comes to tzniut, I don't see any difference between fundamentalist Judaism and fundamentalist Islam.  The notion that because women are arousing to men, they -- rather than then men -- have to "do" something about it by covering themselves, making themselves less attractive, etc. makes no sense to me.  I can understand from a historical perspective why such attitudes existed centures ago, but the fact that they persist at all into the present day is frightening.  There's something simultaneously violent and patronizing about it:  Violent because it basically says that women are to blame if they arouse men, and patronizing because it seems to take for granted that men have no self-control.  Same thing with the mechitza.  I get it:  When you're trying to pray, having members of the opposite sex around to look at can be distracting.  But isn't it an individual's problem if he or she is distracted?  Why do women have to be kept out of view because some men can't control themselves?

When I was in college, early on my Freshman year, I got involved with the Jewish Students Association (JSA).  Much of the JSA, it turned out, was made up of East Coasters, Ramazniks and the like.  I remember distinctly one of the first times I went to Shabbat services:  A big mechitza divided the room...but the Rabbi, an orthodox one, stood squarely in front of the men's side as he gave his d'var.  Basically, unless you were sitting in the front row, no one on the women's side could even see him.  Afterwards, I expressed my dismay at the situation, only to be told that it would offend a lot of people (including the Rabbi) were he to have done otherwise.  Nice, eh?  So in spite of the fact that nothing in halacha says a Rabbi can't look at unmarried females while he gives a d'var, and regardless of the point that I myself was offended at the blatant display of 'separate but not equal' tzniut, that's the way it was going to be.  Period.  I didn't last long in the JSA with attitudes like that.